Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

Sea Turtles Are Stealth Machines. Today I woke up to find a sea turtle had dragged itself past my truck, other other parties tent, turned around, and left in the middle of the night without anyone knowing it. In fact a bunch of them had laid eggs and left. The only remnants were their tracks, disheveled sand piles, and the soldiers of Tulum guarding them. I’ll have to stay up late and try get some shots.
I finished shooting Hidden Worlds Cenotes today. I’ve been flirting with a local gal by the name of Tanya. She is quite a bit younger than Liz and very pretty too. I’ve been using her as a model for the shoot. Anyway, I also met “Buddy”. He’s the owner of Hidden World Cenotes. I expected someone very wealthy but found a very simple man in a rumpled tee shirt and jeans.

Turns out he lives in a four story homemade tree house. I saw it and offered to shoot it for free immediately. This is a “must do” for me! How often do you meet someone that lives in a plywood and plastic film construction four story tree house in the jungle. This monstrosity is an advanced version of the one you built as a kid. I’ll be back Friday to shoot it. Very cool!

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

I’ve picked up four hotels since a week ago and need to shoot them all in 10 days. I was supposed to be in Belize by now. I need to money though and don’t know what to count on in Belize yet. Today I have a butt load of stuff to get done.

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

Salsa class worked out good. Zamas is definitely a good place. I sat down with Mara while I was there and chatted a bit. The classes are all free and the instructors are great too. I’m learning a bit quicker now and I don’t feel quite as cumbersome. It’s kind of freaky how many really good looking women like to dance salsa. There was also some gay guy doing a pirouette on stage.

I’ve spent the last couple of days shooting Amansala here in Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico. It’s been difficult due to the wind and environment but it’s working. Melissa is the owner and she runs the famous “Bikini Boot Camp” at times. It’s seems that most of the women guests are from Europe so I’m seeing a lot of boobs. I like the environment. The food is awesome too!

Carla gave me a bit more of a run down on the word “Chilango”. She’s from Mexico City and not only is she stunningly beautiful but actually nice. I wonder if she drives like the rest of them. Carla says that Chilango is a misunderstood term. It was originally designated for an influx of outsiders that came to Mexico City long ago. I’d like to go out with her but I think she’s dating someone. Once again, another hot chick in Mexico that dances...

Deli Food and God’s Little Toilets

I’ve found that many of the restaurants really aren’t that great. Many are overpriced and serve bland small portions. Lately I’ve been eating “deli food” at Saint Francis Grocery of Tulum. Didn’t know that one of the saints owned a grocery store, huh? For example, yesterday I stopped in and got a kilo of cooked rice and a half kilo of riblets in salsa for about $60 pesos. It’s enough to get three meals. My bottled water is $5.00 for 1.5 liters.

I also just discovered that the pervasive little “crab holes” in the mangroves of Sian Ka’an Biosphere Reserve(4 inches in diameter) are quite convenient. They are the perfect “cat holes”! No muss. No fuss. Just squat, aim, and squeeze. Put the toilet paper in there and bury the hole by moving debris over it. I just hope a crab doesn’t pop out trying to take off a nut. Of course, it’s probably not ecologically sound but who gives a crap (hah, I made a funny).

I wrapped up Hidden Worlds Cenotes and got paid $5000.00 MXP. It’s really not enough money. It also now looks like I’ve got to shoot Amansala AND La Zebra before I leave. It’s going to be tight. I tried several times but couldn’t reach John from La Zebra to try get started. If all goes well I’ll have 5-6 hotels scheduled to shoot when I get back in October. This evening it’s remedial salsa classes at Zamas.

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

God Blinked. I was on my way to Hidden World Cenotes to scout out the activities for the shoot tomorrow when it started to rain. It is the rainy season down here in Tulum you know. Anyway, traffic slowed and I past an emergency vehicle crumpled and bent like a cheap beer can. It had plowed into a vehicle trying to beat it on a turn. There’s a risky game for you. It seemed like every cop and ambulance driver from Tulum was on the scene. I glanced at it as I moved on.

Five more minutes go by and I see another crash. This time it’s a bus and lying on its side like a beached whale on its dying breathe. “Shit. I have to stop and shoot it!” I thought. When I got on the scene and started to work, it was pandemonium. Most everybody was screaming. I looked down and found a younger man cradling his wife’s head and sobbing quietly behind the bus. She had been thrown from the bus and then crushed to death. Her head and shoulder were visible from beneath the rear of the vehicle.

“MY WIFE IS DYING! SOMEONE GET HELP!” bellowed a man from the interior. He waffled between screaming these words and sobbing uncontrollably. His wife’s left arm was cut to the bone near the elbow. She had been partially thrown through a window. Her legs were trapped under the bus while she was still inside it. Once she heard him scream that she was going to die, she started to scream she was going to die. I thought she was going to die.

The bus driver was in the front of the bus dead. He died instantly when they hit the telephone pole. One gal that the locals extracted was really fucked up but as time went on she became more coherent. I thought she was a goner at first. Several victims more were outside waiting for immediate attention that would be VERY late. All of the local emergency workers were busy down the road. About 25 minutes later help started to arrive. I drove two couples that escaped this nightmare unharmed back to their hotel near Cancun later.

I found out from Drew at Teetotum that the locals call this road from Cancun to Tulum “La Carretera de Muerte” or “The Road of Death”. Drew told me that buses wreck in this manner all the time. The odd thing is that there are no wicked turns or 500 ft deep gorges. This highway is just straight and flat. Here’s the kicker. All the tourists were either honeymooners or on an anniversary. God blinked. He seems to do that a lot.

Tulum, Mexico

It’s been a couple of days since I’ve written anything. I’ve been working pretty hard shooting Hidden Worlds Cenotes. That’s been a pain in the ass. It’s really a worst case scenario shooting here and technically very difficult in post processing. Dark places with people moving really fast. Damn. I’ve most of the way through it but I need more time. I shot a sample for Cabanas Tulum also and sealed the deal for a shoot in October. Earlier this evening, I closed the deal for two other jobs too! I got both La Zebra and Mezzanine.

On another note, I’ve taken two salsa classes now. I really like it. I still suck but I’m getting better at it and most importantly I enjoy it. Right along that line of thought, Liz (my salsa dancing honey) text messaged me that she misses me and wants me around. Cool! I do miss her too. I messaged back that I’ll call soon as I get a chance.

Of course as life would have it, I also got an email from the Universal American School-Kuwait today. They are hiring immediately for a special education teacher! Those that know me have heard me talk about getting a teaching job in Kuwait long ago. I replied back that I’m interested in a phone interview. They offer tax free competitive wages, free housing, and more. I may have to move my little fledgling photography business over there! I wonder if I can get Salsa and Spanish lessons in Kuwait City. I wonder if I can get into Iraq and take pictures.

Right now, it’s getting dark. I’m watching some novice campers (two girls and a guy) set up camp about 20 feet from me. It’s important to point out that they could have picked any place else since there’s no one else here. The other side of the beach would have been a good place for them. I guess I look safe. Oh well, I can feel the ocean salt in the wind and hear the waves crash right in front of me. Damn that is one big fucking tent. I guess I should give them a light to finish setting up.

Tulum, Mexico

It’s been a couple of days since I’ve written anything. I’ve been working pretty hard shooting Hidden Worlds Cenotes. That’s been a pain in the ass. It’s really a worst case scenario shooting here and technically very difficult in post processing. Dark places with people moving really fast. Damn. I’ve most of the way through it but I need more time. I shot a sample for Cabanas Tulum also and sealed the deal for a shoot in October. Earlier this evening, I closed the deal for two other jobs too! I got both La Zebra and Mezzanine.

On another note, I’ve taken two salsa classes now. I really like it. I still suck but I’m getting better at it and most importantly I enjoy it. Right along that line of thought, Liz (my salsa dancing honey) text messaged me that she misses me and wants me around. Cool! I do miss her too. I messaged back that I’ll call soon as I get a chance.

Of course as life would have it, I also got an email from the Universal American School-Kuwait today. They are hiring immediately for a special education teacher! Those that know me have heard me talk about getting a teaching job in Kuwait long ago. I replied back that I’m interested in a phone interview. They offer tax free competitive wages, free housing, and more. I may have to move my little fledgling photography business over there! I wonder if I can get Salsa and Spanish lessons in Kuwait City. I wonder if I can get into Iraq and take pictures.

Right now, it’s getting dark. I’m watching some novice campers (two girls and a guy) set up camp about 20 feet from me. It’s important to point out that they could have picked any place else since there’s no one else here. The other side of the beach would have been a good place for them. I guess I look safe. Oh well, I can feel the ocean salt in the wind and hear the waves crash right in front of me. Damn that is one big fucking tent. I guess I should give them a light to finish setting up.

Puente Allen, Mexico

Dodging potholes, little blue crabs, and two women in my bed. Last night I headed in to the reserve as usual. But this time there was a shadow of a very chubby little man waving me down (belly jiggling) as vigorously as possible. Once he got my vehicle I saw it was Thomas! I’d met him earlier this year in Puente Allen where he runs a business taking tourists out by launche for fishing or sightseeing. Anyway, I couldn’t leave him and his friends stranded.

So…..I ended up driving about 45 kilometers over crappy dirt road dodging potholes and little blue crabs scurrying about the road. It’s about an hour drive one way. On the bright side, I can now say that I’ve had two women in my bed at once. Of course, I wasn’t in bed with them but that’s just a minor detail. Thomas and the other guy shoved themselves in one seat of my little regular cab truck while the ladies piled in the camper shell in back. I listened as Thomas and the other guy sang along with the music on the radio most of the way there. Singing along is definitely a big Mexican pastime. The ladies just slept.

I pulled up on the beach near the dock at Puente Allen and set up camp. It’s really pretty quick. A few things extra in the camper shell get thrown in the front cab. This time I had to make the bed since I just did laundry. It stormed really hard last night. It was awesome seeing lightning and thunder rolling in over the ocean horizon.

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

Last night I stayed up late drinking the Mescal that Mario gave me from his 20 gallon or so stash. He doesn’t even drink. He just keeps it for parties and friends. The stars were shining we had a nice cool breeze right off the water. I was half heartedly waiting for the turtles to drag themselves ashore and lay eggs. Here’s a shot of the palms and stars above me. It really does describe why I’m here.

Right now I’m doing laundry. I finally found a place where I can do my own laundry and not feel financially raped. I’m paying $18.50 MXP to wash a small load and $15.50 MXP to dry for 15 minutes. I’ll l probably need to double the time for the dryer.
The rest of the day went pretty good. Sergio at Paplana Playa backed out on me but Hidden World Cenote confirmed. I put out the rest of the quotes. It looks like I’m going to have to really plan ahead with expenses and shoots.

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

I went into Teetotum today to get my emails and get my sample shot of Xel Ha done so I could upload it and the folks at Xel Ha would have something to show the suits in Cancun. Drew walked in and told me that Chris at Hidden Worlds wanted to speak to me too. Cool. I also walked back into Zama and spoke with Mara. I gave her a low ball price of $400.00 USD and the balance in trade. They have Salsa lessons there on Thursdays at 7:30pm. I’ll be there. She promised to dance with me too.

I’m beginning to figure out the pricing game in Mexico. If there isn’t a trade involved the price is too high. Then I sat down with Sergio and his crew and offered the same deal. I found out later that Sergio thought I said “for a hundred and trade”. That’s quite a bit different than “four hundred and trade”. I hope the rest of the guys heard it right. I did correct him and made sure he knew it was $400.00 USD for six shots. I’ll email the architect and confirm the whole thing.

I wish that I could get Richard (Teetotum) to listen to me but he politely keeps avoiding me. He’s a pretty cool kind of guy but I guess there’s still a bit too much city boy left in him to trust a stranger just a little bit. It’s really too bad since I was going to comp and trade the whole deal. I just wanted to do something for him and his wife since I’ve been hanging there and using the internet on the cheap.

Tulum, Quintana Roo, Mexico

I hit up all the people that promised me business before but got nowhere. It’s looking pretty bleak. Here’s the breakdown for me to get from San Miguel de Allende to Tulum mostly using the toll roads.

1,955 kilometers or 1,185 miles from door to door
$ 1,810 MXP in fuel costs at $71 MXP per liter
$ 907 MXP in tolls
$1000 MXP to bribe the nice policemen
$ 50 MXP for food

So… here’s how it works (at least in my mind). I have my FM3 and I’m doing the right thing but I’m really fucked. Why you ask? Well first, I can’t write off the fuel costs for a variety of logistical reasons. Write me and I’ll spell it out for you. Secondly, I had to bribe the nice policemen. Third, I’ll have to pay full taxes on anything I earn. Fourth, I can’t really write off any expenses for food and there is no per diem standard write off.

For you, expect to pay tolls that add up to about half of what you pay in fuel here in Mexico. That’s the number I’ll count on from now on. Let’s see…. It’s $72 MXP for a liter and that converts to about 270 MXP per gallon or $2.70 USD/ gallon right now. I get 18.5 miles a gallon and it costs my 14.59 cents per mile. Add the tolls at 2:1 and it adds up to about $0.21885 USD per mile for me to travel across Mexico.

Veracruz, Mexico

I woke up this morning at a PEMEX gas station north of Veracruz nearly walled in by three trucks and a curb. I did the hygiene thing and hit the road at 6am. After awhile, I finally hit a military inspection station. Look out you pot smoking hippies; Mexico has a new tool in the battle against drugs. It was here that I saw and marveled at “the magic wand” of drug enforcement. Ready? Okay now, close you bloodshot eyes and imagine a little handheld black box with a grip and grey trigger. Following me on this? Good. Now imagine a 2 foot long telescopic antenna protruding from the top of it. Still with me? Good. That’s it! Now was that hard to do?

Honestly, I have no idea if or how it works. They stopped us five vehicles at a time and circled all the vehicles as a group and then dismissed them. It really looks like something you’d use to detect radiation instead. That was my first guess. Nope. Wrong. I couldn’t resist asking about the thing any longer. The young man explained that it was for marijuana, cocaine, and other drugs. After a bit, he popped a small card out of the bottom labeled “cannabis”. The card resembled a credit card and even had a magnetic strip on it. I would have loved to see it go off and everyone swarm a hippie with a Rodney King style beat down. Too bad.

I just got here to Tulum. I spent about 22 hours driving over two days and checked my email immediately. As I thought, Sol Caribe backed out on the deal. I’m getting tired of being fucked like a whore and left out in the cold.. I’ve got some leads though. I’m also going to try nail down a method to generate business fast and on the spot. I have some ideas for more business. Tomorrow I’m also going to add up the tolls and gasoline costs to get here. I’d like to know if I spent more in tolls or gas.

San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

I learned a new term in San Miguel de Allende: “Chilango”. It describes someone SPECIFICALLY from Mexico City that has no regard for others. MANY view them with true disgust. It’s difficult to really express the distain I have for Mexico City after just a few hours there. I was actually trying to skirt around it but that didn’t work well at all. When you read this remember this I’m not ranting. I’m telling as it is.

If San Miguel de Allende is the heart of Mexico and has heart disease, then Mexico City is a dead rotting corpse. As I got closer to the city the all the road signs were covered in so much graffiti that I literally couldn’t figure out where I was or what road to take. I exited to turn around but couldn’t get back on the freeway. I ended up taking a random main street north but still couldn’t figure out where I was because the road signs overhanging were now covered in political banners of some bitch running for office. Eventually I found the “highway” skirting Mexico City. Here’s where it gets really ugly.

Have you ever seen two stubborn drivers competing for the same stupid spot? No one gives up as their cars inch closer and closer together in a game of “chicken”. Pathetic, huh? Now imagine EVERYONE doing this. Imagine occasional intersections with no traffic lights or signs. Cars cram together in every direction trying to inch past each other in what is truly a giant cluster fuck. People pay kids a couple of pesos to stop traffic to let them in. I drove in Los Angeles for seven years in some of the worst known traffic in the world. Los Angeles doesn’t hold a candle to these people. They are ASSHOLES.

Next item up for review, please. Oh yeah, I got stopped by four different sets of cops in four hours. Two sets of good cops and two sets of bad cops. They ALL stated that I wasn’t allowed to drive my vehicle on Saturdays. Three of the four sets of cops handed me an English translation of a law showing different days that vehicles with specific last digits may drive in Mexico City. ALL the translations showed that ALL vehicles were allowed to drive in Mexico City on weekends. It’s fucking SATURDAY. This minor detail didn’t faze any of them.

The first set off cops just asked for papers and dismissed me. The second set wanted a bribe. Now I’m assuming that when a cop says “pagame!” (pay me) and offers a half price on the fine payable in cash only, it’s probably a bribe. I wore him out and he went away after about 20 minutes. The third set tried to explain the laws better and I deciphered that it’s really the digit immediately BEFORE the first LETTER in your license plate number that determines your driving days in Mexico City. They kindly escorted me to the correct turn and told me that the toll road is okay to drive any day without a problem. Cool. The fourth set finally got me. I just wanted to get out of this hellhole. After about 30 minutes of pleading, bargaining, and negotiation, we settled on $1000 MXP ($100 USD) and a personal escort to the toll road. They did honor their agreement and actually stopped traffic a couple of times for me.

Here’s another assumption on my part, I’m guessing that this is the NORMAL behavior of the NORMAL citizen of Mexico City. I can easily envision these people a millennium ago, ripping out hearts and rolling lifeless corpses down temple stairs by the thousands and cheering wildly. If I could pick one city to wipe off the planet, this would easily be my first choice and without hesitation. Twenty five million assholes gone in a flash, it’s an inspiring vision. What exactly is a “chilango” then? How does one adequately expand the term “asshole” to encompass one such as this? I shall ponder this question as I fall asleep in the parking lot of the PEMEX gas station.

San Miguel de Allende, Mexico

If San Miguel de Allende is the heart of Mexico, then it has heart disease. It took me 45 minutes to find a parking place and I still walked over ½ mile to try meet Kimberly. By the time I got there she was gone. Fuck. The streets are narrow, rough, and clogged like an 800 pound fat man’s arteries. NOTHING moves through them swiftly or efficiently. The cars are like little globules of fat stuck to the sides and EVERYTHING SLOWLY squeezes by them.

Anyway enough of my ranting, after getting through Migracion for the last time to pick up my FM3, I met Patty. Next time for renewal, I’m using her for this crap. For $600 MXP, she’ll stand in line for you and deal with the entire process (plus the regular Migracion fees of course)! I’ll get her information to you if needed. I think that I’m going to summarize the process of getting an FM3 soon and put it online for all to use. I also met with my accountant, got my facturas ordered from my new printer, and set up the blog by telephone with Kimberly.

I know that I’m still missing details but tomorrow I leave for Tulum. I’m hoping that I can make it to Vocan Orizaba by tomorrow evening. I’d like to be in Tulum by Monday late afternoon. From my email correspondence with Sol Caribe it sounds like they may be waffling on the photo shoots too. I’m scheduled to shoot two locations by the same owner there. I’ll check email before I head out tomorrow.